Changing Dayhomes

Last Friday was our last day at our dayhome.
It was a day of mixed feelings.

Anna and Little Girl at her Christmas party in 2009

Sad because we have been with Anna since Little Girl was one and I went back to work.

Sad because she has become part of our family and we love her, the kids love her and she loves our children as though they are her own grandchildren.
 
Happy because Little Girl has aged out of her care (she doesn't do before and after school care).
Happy because we are growing and starting school in a few days.
Happy because we have found another dayhome that I think will be just as good.
Happy because today they started at their new dayhome and went happily and no crying.




Little Boy getting his present from Santa at Anna's annual
Christmas party. (2009

Little Girl and Santa (2009)

 

Do you use a dayhome for your children?  Have you been a fortunate as we have to have found someone that has become an extension of your family?

The Terrible Two’s Were Nothing!

We all know about the Terrible Two’s, and some people know about the Trying Three’s but what about the Frustrating Four’s?

You see we have been there through all of those, and yet right now all of those hold nothing, and I mean nothing to the F&*#!NG FIVE’s.

Personally I thought the Terrible Two’s were a walk in the park, compared to the Trying Three’s –and the Four’s were difficult at times, but wow these fives; so far not fun.

Back in September when Little Girl started preschool (age 4) we went through some trying times with her, I attributed it to the change of starting preschool and looking back I think I was right, about a month later things settled down and she was back to normal.

But right now, we have been going through temper tantrum hell.

If you have a child 5 years or older, then you know that a 4 or 5 year old temper tantrum is nothing like a two year old’s.

About a week ago, we were dealing with time-out after time-out, so many in fact that I brought in a Naughty Chart.

Little Girl is allowed 3 time-outs in one day – once she gets that 3^rd time-out – she gets a bigger punishment or penalty so to speak – right now – if she gets those 3 boxes filled in one day – she loses the privilege to wear a dress / skirt the next day.  This is a big punishment for her – all she wears right now is dresses and skirts.

I thought I would share with you all an example of what I mean when I say F&*#!NG FIVE’s.

This happened the other night in our house:

1.       She was bugging her brother – sitting on him or something.

2.       I told her to get off him.

3.       She does not move.

4.       I tell her again to get off him – and mention that if she doesn’t – she will get a time-out.

5.       She doesn’t move.

6.       I tell her to go to her room for a 5 minute time-out.

7.       She doesn’t move.

8.       I tell her again to go to her room for a time-out and add that I will be putting an ‘X’ on her time-out chart.

9.       She screams – NO!!! and runs to the fridge – pulls the time-out chart off the fridge and crumples it up. (see above picture for evidence of said crumpling)

10.   I grab it out of her hand – smooth it out – put the X on and put it now much higher out of her reach.

 Naughty chart - now lives way out of reach.

11.   I tell her now, Blankie will have a time-out too, unless she goes to her room right away (which means – Blankie goes on top of the fridge for a time out at least double the length of hers).

12.   She runs away from me – in the direction of Blankie.

13.   I pick her and up and carry her to her room.

14.   I retrieve Blankie from her – prying her fingers off.

15.   I tell her to stay in her room – and start to walk away.

16.   She follows me – hitting me with her fists – yelling at me and telling:

• MEAN MOMMY!
• YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM FOR A TIME-OUT!
•  I AM GOING TO TAKE YOUR BLANKIE AWAY!

17.   Now I tell her to go back to her room, for a 10 minute time-out, (hitting = a 10 minute time-out vs. the standard 5) I will turn the timer on when she is in her room. 

18.   Eventually – she is in her room and we actually start the time-out.

19.   Once the times goes, I tell her to come downstairs and we talk about what she did wrong and why she got the punishment she did. 

 20.   She apologises and gets Blankie back from her time-out spot on top of the fridge.

See how much fun this is? 
I was telling someone at work about this and they said there were more rules and play going on he would need a rule book bigger than the NHL’s.

I know every child is different, every stage is different for each child – but I am so ready to be over this one.  Please tell me it gets better.  Please let this be a phase. 

I do want to add that I have been working on me being calm throughout the whole thing – and it has been working – it is kind of hard to tell your child not to yell at you or their brother when you have just screamed at them, right?

Anyone have any tips, tricks, advice? 

One thing I have filed in my brain and often think of as we are battling it out:

Little kids; little problems

Big kids; big problems

So I will enjoy this time when a 10 minute time out and the loss of privilege to wear a dress the next day is all I have to think about. 

One day I will have to take away car privileges.  I don’t even want to think about the reason why that might happen.  Oye!

Solo Parenting

When I first met my husband he worked in a job that took him out of town every Monday morning and he did not return until Wednesday evening.

You might think this is difficult on a relationship but in fact it allowed us both some space and forced alone time.  We never ended up smothering each other or completely neglecting all our friends which is so common in new and exciting relationships.

He did this job for the first 2 years of our relationship and looking back I think it was great.

But of course, when that job changed and he was home every night it was much nicer, he was there all the time and as we started having kids – I needed him there every night. 

When I first had Little Girl he was in a job that took him out of town once in a while – sometimes for 3 – 4 nights in a row – but it wasn’t very often.

I remember HATING those business trips.
I was home all day with a baby, and then no one came home to ‘entertain’ me.
I used to invite friends over for dinner every night he was out of town – just to give me adult interaction / conversation.

But that job ended right around Little Girl’s first birthday and his next job – the one he has currently, has not taken him out of town at all – until today.

Today I am solo parenting. 

I might have super powers for only 3 days, but I belive single
 parents truly do have super powers.

This is the first time I will be solo parenting for more than one night in a row in over 4 years.

Can I honestly admit that I am looking forward to it?

I have so many friends that solo parent a lot (like almost all the time and for weeks if not months on end) that I feel bad in saying that.
But it’s only for 3 nights.

I know the kids are going to have the hardest time with this one – they always want the parent that is not there – of course because all kids believe that the other parent is going to let them have cookies 10 minutes before dinner is ready.

But I also know that they and I will get used to it.  We will get into a routine that might involve me getting up a little bit earlier in the morning, but I can guarantee you, the house will be cleaner these next 3 days than if he were at home.

What about you, do you solo parent much? 
Do you have special rules while you don’t have a partner, like let the kids sleep in your bed? Or watch TV at dinner time?

BTW, I let the kids have the TV on while we eat dinner when Hubby is not there – bad parent I know!

Kids and TV

I grew up without a TV in our house.

I know, shocking!  Who does that?

As weird as it sounds, I don't look back and think I missed much, yes I don't have childhood memories of certian TV shows, I never watched Fraggle Rock, or The Smurfs, but I know even if we did have a TV, my parents would never have let us watch much anyway.

But now, no TV, I would go insane.  I love my TV, hubby loves his TV and I know our kids do too.

When I was home with the kids on mat leave, I watched a lot of TV.

Okay, that is an understatment, I watched TV all the time.  If I was home, the TV was on.

I was not always sitting on the couch watching TV (rarely actually), but it was on in the background.

I learned to love Regis and Kelly, The View, Ellen and loved watching old drama show re-runs durring the day.

So now it is funny becasue I would preffer the TV off.

We do allow certian times the kids can watch TV, on a week day, they can watch TV in the morning but only if they are dressed (otherwise they would stay in their jammies all day).

On the weekend, they get to watch TV in their jammies when they wake up (trust me - they love this).

At night time, once they are in their jammies, they get to watch 1 or 2 shows (time dependant on when they get into their jammies) and have a snack.

What are your TV restrictions?